i like you but i love Him

I know you, but we never really talked. I never gave you a second glance after we first got introduced, but I sort of always knew who you were (though I did forget your name for a moment). I never gave you a second glance, and I know you never did the same.

Then we met again. And we actually got to talk. I found out you were nice – really nice.
We could’ve eaten lunch together on the day we met. But you were too slow. Oh well. For all I know back then, you were still nobody to me.

I didn’t think of you that much the next days, but to be totally honest, you did amuse me. You were nice. And I have to admit, you are awfully cute. I never thought of it as something else. Then for some reason, my friends started to tease you to me. I was surprised, because it was all so sudden. Yeah, you amuse me, but I never said I liked you.

But you were awfully amusing.

Until you did something that I never thought someone like you could do. I wasn’t there, but I heard of it. And hearing you say that made me even more amused.

I think I’m starting to like you already.

I didn’t want to say it’s true, because I was afraid. I didn’t want anything yet, I just want to be happy on my own. I don’t want any person to make me smile. I don’t want anyone distracting me from my walk with my God, to whom I promised my heart.

But I think I am starting to like you. There’s no harm in that, right?

I started to see you in a different light. Sort of. You were nice. More than that, you were so much more than what can be seen of you. Like there was something more inside of you that cannot be seen by just looking at you like that. As if beneath that funny and cheerful exterior, you’re a person of depth, and I want to meet that side of you.

You are nice to me. You actually gave me gifts. But you didn’t shower me with attention, which I was thankful for. I don’t need that attention, because if you do give me that, then I would have fallen further down before I knew it. But you didn’t; and even if you didn’t, you still were different than how I see other people.

I think I like you.

You proved that there are better guys out there. When I get to talk to you, your thoughts were deeper than I thought. You are funny, but you are also serious. And I want to know you more.

I really think I like you.

But still, you scared me. Why? Because I don’t want to get hurt. And I don’t want to give too much attention to you because I don’t want to be in too deep.

I gave you up a lot of times, and I’m still giving you up now. You don’t know this, but sometimes, I cry about you at night because my heart wants to do something, but I have to stop myself because it’s my selfish side speaking and I’m not letting Him work.

I like you. I love Him.

And I choose Him. It’s hard because my heart wants to choose you…but I decided to choose Him. I’m sure you’d understand that. Not that you’d care, but if ever things work out the way I want to…then I hope you’d understand it. I know you would.

So I’m offering you up again, and I pray that my heart won’t pull you back from the altar. Because I know this is what God asks of me, and I’m willing to give you up.

I like you. But I love Him.

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