Anyway, I just wanted to leave you with this thought: I found that my struggle with the whole dating thing, and life in general, stems from kind of the battle between rationality and emotion. I had my last girlfriend when I was 15 or 16… and since then I’ve made the rational decision that I’m only going to date when I’m ready to marry. But that decision often conflicts with emotions that I may feel for another person. Then, I used to really hate “liking” someone, cause I felt like it took away from being so spiritual and rational. Then two years ago in Bible School, one of the lecturers said this while he was talking about marriage, “How do you know when someone is the right person to marry? How about if you actually love the person!” And that really changed my perspective a bit. Then I was reading this book called Blue Like Jazz (if you haven’t read it, you should check it out too) that talked about how wonderful it is to have someone to share you life with. So that really changed my mind about dating too. Now I don’t think that dating is so evil anymore, not that I’ve found someone to date yet… But I’m realizing more and more that God is so powerful and so sovereign and so wonderful that he can use both our rationality *and* our emotions to satisfy us.

So I’ve really come to the same conclusion that you have: that God is enough, and we should find our satisfaction only in Him. And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:19).

Bless :)

Chris

one of the lecturers said this while he was talking about marriage, “How do you know when someone is the right person to marry? How about if you actually love the person!”

Haha, I agree! :) The thing is, with most people around now, they have a hard time figuring out when they actually love the person. The word love has become so shallow because of all the influence of other things that most people (sometimes including me) fail to see what love really is — that it’s actually God. That’s why when people ask me (and I find it funny that they ask me, of all people. I have no experience whatsoever, but I suddenly became Dr. Love to all of them) how would they know if the person is The One, it’s hard to answer because they’d end up twisting the words and all that. I usually just tell them, “You’ll just know.” I agree, what your lecturer said is the right answer. Now the next thing to do is to clarify what love really is. ;)

Did I make sense there? :)

I’ve heard of Blue Like Jazz but I haven’t read it yet. I still have to buy a copy. :P

Oh yeah, thanks for visiting my site too! :) I’m glad to hear people actually read this one. Haha. :P I’ll put you on my links list, if that’s okay with you. :) God bless!

Haha preview ba ito ng ating Godchicks site?!

PWEDE!

That’s why I really believe that prayer and discernment is necessary for this particular aspect of everyone’s life. :) In fact, prayer is everything!

I like the way Philip Yancey said it in The Jesus I Never Knew: A sign is not the same thing as proof; a sign is merely a marker for someone who is looking in the right direction. :)

Your comment has really inspired me, God bless you. I was married for 4 1/2 years and all this while, I feel like my marriage was a sham. Mind you, it was sort of an arranged marriage, but with my approval. I only met the guy once and decided to get married, but we had good communication while we were dating long distance. I know now that I made such a huge mistake and I know that God put me there in that position for some reason. To make a long story short, he lied to me and cheated on me, and hence I am divorced. So for a long time I felt I was cheated in life. However I did buy a place very close to my work and my parents and I am so thankful for that. My biggest worry is the money problems, paying the bills, etc, as I am single now on my own. I pray to God everyday to either help me ease on the funds or help me find another way to be a little more prosperous. I don’t know if it is working, but I can see in a lot of instances that some of the elements are working. Like you I never had a real boyfriend until I got married and now that I’m divorced I’m having the same problem again. I met my old crush afte 8 years back in 2005, and I had told him that I wanted a casual relationship, nothing serious. But my problem was I fell so hard for him. I think I even gave my heart to him, because I thought God was giving me another chance to be with him and he was actually the one for me, etc. But he turned out to me not so great as I thought. He would call me at 3am in the morning to see me, but not take me out. Even thought I suggested this and I went along with this, I didn’t feel right. What was I being treated like a whore with him? But I really liked him, the sex was so good and everything. He gave me what I needed at that moment that my ex couldn’t give me and I really thanked him for that. But then he stopped calling for 2 months and I got upset. Then I called him 2 months after that and asked him if he wanted to do it again. He said he wasn’t sure if it was such a good idea, because I was sensitive and I was worried about pregnancy, etc…But I insisted. So he saw me again. But not as often as I liked. And he told me that he didn’t want anyone to know about this.

The very last night he came back in Feb of 2006, he had alcohol in his system and he sounded very persistant. He was really selfish that night and was irrespective of my feelings. It was a terrible night that left me angry that moment. I even emailed him not to call me at 3am anymore. He called back and was so mad he said that he was going to delete my number. He stated that this was my idea in the first place and said that I was turning it around, to make it look like he was the bad person. I cried and said that I was sorry for even bringing this up because I didn’t want to hurt anyone. He then also apologized saying that he should have known better and it takes 2 to tango anyway. Then he said that we would always be friends and that won’t change. Well, some friend. I haven’t heard from him in 8 months. I know I’m crazy, but I am praying to God to ease that pain and heartache I felt for him. I think I really love him and I think I have loved him all along and I wanted to deny it because of his behaviour. Now lately I have surrendered him to God. I told God to take care of this for me. I don’t know if my crush will ever regret and call me back and say that he misses me and he’s sorry, or if he has taken me for a ride. I just don’t want to feel like this anymore and I just want God to let me do what He wills me to do. Why do I miss this idiot and what’s even puzzling, why do I love him? Even when he treated me like this, never took me out? And I tried speed dating, etc, and I can smell desparation in the air when doing that. All the participants were either needy or desparate. I didn’t see any pride in them. And then I thought to myself, “I am better than this. I hav my dignity”. I don’t feel right looking and searching. I think it’s God telling me to wait. I don’t know for what. But I don’t know if there is THE ONE coming or if my crush is coming to his senses with God. I would like to hope God is preparing something GREAT for me, like you do :). When I’m with God’s presence, I am peaceful, in church or at home when I am praying. That moment is awesome. But I just wonder sometimes if God knows my broken heart and what he can do about my empty part about missing my whole crush. But Tina, your post has given me renewed hope!

God Bless you!

ST

I hope this inspires me to write something along these lines, something that pours out my heart regarding matters of love and life. Hehehe. ;)

I’m not bad looking, and I am kind of smart actually… But I would always wonder why guys never see me as ‘likable’, or ‘crushable’. I was 21 and I still haven’t had my 1st kiss… I was getting impatient… But I realized that things just don’t work out sometimes. I didn’t give on up love, I just tried to prioritize other things. I honed my singing, I joined a band, I learned a lot about myself and what I like. I also learned to be more glamorous, hehe. Some might think making yourself pretty is superficial, but it is also a way to show that you love yourself and that you take care of what God has given you. You don’t have to have artista look, just be neat and presentable.

The most important things I’ve learned in my whole journey is to get to know myself better, enhance my skills, use my talents, learn new things (I bake, and am good in photography too). I had to learned how to stand alone first before I was able to walk with someone… When you know yourself more, and nurture your talents and skills, you tend to have higher self-esteem and more self-confidence. And that is attractive.

I just turned 27 and I am very happy with my fiance. He came into my life when I am ready. My whole journey before him, happy or sad instances(because I tell you, it doesn’t get easier when you finally have your first relationship), was all worth it. And I thank God for such a wonderful, learning ride :D I wish you luck on yours, enjoy the moments, and if it’s proving to be too tough, just think that it will pass.